


i could never define all that you are to me

by deandratb



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Presents, F/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 05:59:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17156534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deandratb/pseuds/deandratb
Summary: It's Josh and Donna's second official Christmas season as a couple, and the mystery gift that awaits her is comically large.





	i could never define all that you are to me

**Author's Note:**

> Tis the season for Christmas fluff! general idea borrowed from [this list of Christmas AUs.](http://actuallylorelaigilmore.tumblr.com/tagged/christmas%20au)

Donna rolled her eyes the moment she spotted the giant box under the Christmas tree. Some small part of her had thought that Josh would tone down his gift-giving obsession after they got together.

As her boss, he’d always had an uncanny knack for finding just the right thing, or connecting it to just the right sentiment. Their first year as a couple, Donna teased him about overcompensating for something, then ended up sniffling back sentimental tears.

But within the chaos of the Santos administration at Yuletide, it would have been enough for her that he made any effort at all. Instead, Josh remained insistent--refusing to give her any hints, scheduling his shopping into the official calendar with cryptic destinations. He was still chasing that perfect present...or buying her too many.

By their second official Christmas together, she didn’t bother asking for anything specific, because last time he’d ignored her hints anyway. And she’d loved what she gave her more than any gift she thought she wanted.

But even if she had asked for something, it wouldn’t have been the size of a toddler. So she frowned at the large rectangle with its cheerful green wrapping every time she passed it in their apartment, for the next two weeks until Christmas Day finally arrived.

Josh insisted that she take her turn unwrapping second, and Donna agreed impatiently because again, overcompensating much? She didn’t need so much build-up to Connecticut’s biggest teddy bear or whatever left-field item would take her breath away this year...especially when a part of her was **maybe** a tiny bit annoyed.

For a guy who used to be so emotionally immature, Josh was way too good at condensing years of banter and longing into a present that only he would think to get her. It was maddeningly charming. And she was pretty sure that no matter how hard she tried, she would never be quite as good at it as he was.

He opened the handful of gifts that Donna had gotten him, pausing to express his gratitude with kisses between each one. They were her usual mix of practical and sentimental presents: a book he wanted to read but would never remember to buy for himself, a tie that only she would be able to fix correctly for him, the goofy keychains she collected on official trips that had become code for ‘I was here and missed you.’ 

Finally, only one gift remained--the huge one in front of her. Josh exhaled and bounced a little where he sat.

“Okay, your turn.”

She was usually careful with wrapping paper, but the lead up had been such an ordeal and Josh had dragged it out so deliberately that she rushed to tear it off. The box, she realized immediately, was for a commercial-grade mixer...which made no sense.

Even if she wanted to bake, which she really didn’t, there was zero time for a hobby like that right now. When Josh just shrugged and looked back at the box pointedly, she realized the mixer box wasn’t sealed shut.

Donna raised her eyebrows and lifted the cardboard flaps. Of course, she thought, there was another box inside the mixer box. This one was about the size of a basketball, and wrapped in bright red stripes, with a shiny bow.

She lifted the smaller box up and out, watching Josh’s grin spread. The finger aimed his way didn’t dissuade his elation at all. “Josh.”

“That tone does not sound like proper Christmas spirit,” he replied as she unwrapped the red gift.

This box was for a rock polisher, and Donna didn’t waste time wondering if he’d actually gotten her a rock polisher, of all things. She opened it up, sighed at the silver and gold gift within, and carefully unfolded the paper just in case maybe it was the present that counted.

“There had better be an actual gift in here, Joshua, or so help me.”

Instead, inside the metallic box was an even smaller one in pale blue, and he remained silent as Donna confirmed that it wasn’t her gift either.

She exhaled in relief a few seconds later, though, when opening the blue gift revealed a box in white paper that was so small she couldn’t imagine the game continuing on any farther. _Earrings,_ she guessed. _Maybe a pendant he found when he’d mysteriously disappeared last weekend. All this for some jewelry._

Her second clue that she’d made it to the right box was the fact that Josh stopped grinning at her expectantly and started talking before she could open it.

“The first real Christmas gift I gave you, you hated,” he told her with that soft smile she never got tired of seeing.

“I didn’t--”

He cut off Donna’s protest by reaching for her left hand and kissing the back of it. “You did. It’s okay. You wanted what you’d asked for, ski gear or at least something fun. Instead I got you a musty old book that you would never have time to read because you worked sixteen hours a day for me in the first place. Your face sort of froze in that Midwestern mask of politeness, and you tried to be nice about it.”

“Okay, yeah.” She nodded, squeezing the hand holding hers. “But then I read the inscription. You remember that part too, right?”

“I do.” He chuckled. “You hugged me, right there in the office. It was pretty great.”

Josh shook his head. “Anyway, it wasn’t what you were expecting. But you thanked me, and we both moved on, and when I looked back, you were reading the inscription again.”

“Aww. You were looking at me?”

“I did a lot of looking at you,” he pointed out. “You were like magnetic north.”

“Okay, so I liked the book. This,” she lifted the white box, “is clearly not a book.”

“No,” he agreed, “but it’s relevant, because we never talked about it back then and I avoided thinking about it...but I already loved you that Christmas, Donna. I tried not to, because it would have been safer for everybody, but God, I did. And that book, with the inscription, was me not being able to hold those feelings back.”

She pulled him in for a kiss, the box pressed between them as Donna rested her forehead against his. “You know I did too. I always have.”

“Yeah. But because of our jobs, our situation, it was never appropriate, to love you as much as I did. I couldn’t show it. Except at Christmas. You know?”

His warm brown eyes searched hers for understanding, and she thought maybe she finally did get it. Josh was made for the political arena because he had an ego fit for politics...but gift giving had never been about showing off, being the best, any of that.

It had been a way to love her, without risking the rest of their lives, and to let her know it. Everybody was allowed to give and receive affection at Christmas; he’d just done so a little extra hard with her.

“That explains so much,” she told him seriously, leaning back to look down again at the box in her hand. “So what you’re saying is that this tiny box shouldn’t irritate me because you made me open seventeen bigger boxes to get to it? Because it’s the thought that counts?”

“I think that’s a little simplistic,” Josh argued back. “What I’m saying is, that first present from me wasn't what you were expecting. And finding you in my campaign office that day, and everything that's come after...wasn't what I was expecting. But I'm so glad that I did. Open your present.”

Donna removed the tiny, shimmering, stuck-on bow first, then unfolded the delicate white paper. Inside was more white, a box with a stamped lid, and she was lifting it off when she heard Josh ask, “Donnatella Moss, will you marry me?”

She almost dropped the box instead of getting to see what was inside it.

Donna would be embarrassed to admit it later, but her hands shook when she looked up at him and saw all of the hope and promise shining in his eyes. She couldn't tear her gaze away.

“Yes,” she breathed out, and saw her engagement ring for the first time as he was sliding it onto her finger--the smallest Christmas gift Josh had ever given her, but also the biggest.

And her favorite so far.

**Author's Note:**

> Title borrowed from "Movement" by Hozier.


End file.
